Choosing your first vibrator

Choosing a first vibrator should feel exciting, not like homework. The good news is that you only need to think about a handful of things, and there are no wrong answers. This guide walks through each one in turn, so you can make a choice that suits you rather than someone else's idea of what you should want.

How would you like it to feel?

Before you look at any numbers, think about the kind of experience you are hoping for. Do you imagine something soft and soothing, or something with a bit more energy? Would you like to keep things simple, or do you enjoy having lots of settings to explore?

If you are unsure, gentle and simple is a comfortable starting point. A toy with three speeds and a few patterns gives you room to explore without feeling overwhelmed, and you can always choose something stronger later. Our guide to power and speeds explains what those numbers mean in practice.

What size is best for a first vibrator?

For a first toy, smaller tends to feel more approachable. A compact bullet fits neatly in the hand, is easy to control and is simple to tuck away afterwards.

Our bullets are compact and easy to hold. The Bijou Classic Bullet is a slim 18 mm across and featherlight, and the Lune Rechargeable Mini Bullet is a smooth 76 mm capsule that fits in your palm while being fully waterproof (IPX7). If you would like to compare dimensions side by side, see size and shape or our compare tool.

How quiet does it need to be if you share a home?

If you live with family, flatmates or thin walls, a quiet motor can make all the difference to how relaxed you feel. Noise is measured in decibels (dB), and lower is quieter.

Our first-time favourites are quiet. The Bijou Classic Bullet is supplier-rated at 50 dB or less, quieter than a normal conversation, and the Duet Dual Massage Wand is rated at under 50 dB. You can read more in noise levels explained.

Should you choose battery or rechargeable?

This is mostly about convenience.

• Battery toys take a AAA or small coin-cell battery. They are ready the moment the battery goes in, and you can carry a spare. They are a simple, low-commitment first step.
• Rechargeable toys charge by USB or a magnetic connector. You never need to buy batteries, they usually offer more speeds, and many are better sealed against water.

The Argent Rechargeable Bullet is a lovely middle ground: the familiar classic bullet shape, but USB rechargeable, with up to 50 minutes of play per charge. For the full picture, see rechargeable vs battery.

Do you need a waterproof vibrator?

If you like the idea of a bath-time toy, or simply want something very easy to rinse clean, look at the IPX rating on the product page.

There is more detail in waterproof ratings explained.

What materials should you look for?

Whatever else you decide, choose a toy made from body-safe materials. That means non-porous, phthalate-free materials like high-grade platinum silicone and ABS, which can be cleaned thoroughly. Every product we sell meets this standard, so you can shop here without worrying about it. If you shop elsewhere, our guide to body-safe materials explains what to look for.

Still undecided?

That is completely fine. Two easy options:

1. Start small and simple. The Bijou Classic Bullet is our most affordable bullet, at £10.99, with ten settings to explore. You will quickly discover what you prefer.
2. Let us suggest a few. Our short quiz asks a handful of questions about what you are looking for and suggests three picks.

You can also browse our Mini & Classic range, which collects our simplest, most beginner-friendly designs.

A final word on confidence

There is no such thing as a perfect first toy, only one that feels right for you right now. Your preferences may change over time, and that is part of the fun. Whatever you choose arrives in plain, unbranded packaging with "BH Commerce Ltd" on your statement, and our returns policy covers anything that turns out to be faulty.